Once the Music Stops
by Pennies from Heaven
Summary: Lily has a secret that no one else knows...She used to dance...until something terrible happened. Now Sirius has set out to find out Lily's Secret and do everything he can to help her rediscover her passion
1. The Pink Duffle Bag

A/N: This is my first attempt at this type of story and I don't know what people will think of my writing style so please read and review! I guess it has a "Save the Last Dance" feel about it but that wasn't really my intention. It's dedicated to a friend that recently lost his sister. It's also dedicated to anyone out there who knows the simple joy of dancing. There is a special feeling and sense of self-expression that glows within you when you dance and I hope I have captured the importance of this. This is just the first chapter and it may seem boring but I had to get the facts out so please bear with me. 

Disclaimer: Any reference to Harry Potter characters or Hogwarts belongs to J.K. Rowling.

"We move on, put those dreams away  
Hoping that we'll find them, come some rainy day . . .  
How could I know that everything would change  
Except the way I miss you come some rainy day."  
-Wynona Judd, Come Some Rainy Day

Once the Music Stops

He knew she would dance on long before the music played...  
And he heard the music long before he knew whom it was...

Lily Evans was 14 years old. In exactly one week she would be 15. She couldn't wait. She had the most wonderful group of friends. In fact she couldn't be happier. Life was going great for her and in just oneand a half weeks she would have an excuse to celebrate.  
" Hey earth to LILY!" Shouted James.  
" Sorry James" Lily blushed. Her friends often caught her daydreaming and were very apt to tease her about it.  
" I was trying to ask you if you were coming to Hogsmede with us." Repeated James.  
" In the rain?" Asked Lily skeptically. She sized up the two sets of puppy eyes being flashed her way. "Wait, where's Sirius?" Asked Lily.  
" Detention." Frowned Remus.  
" And James doesn't have it as well! This is a first!" Teased Lily.  
" Are you coming or not?" Asked James.  
" Oh yeah I'd..." Julie came up and quickly cut her off.  
"James you prat, how are we going to get Lily's Birthday present if she's with us?" Julie said. Lily blushed.  
" You guys don't have to get me anything!" She insisted. They all gave her looks as if she were nuts.  
" Sorry Lily but we ARE getting you something which means you'll have to stay here," replied Remus. " But don't worry," He added. "Sirius should be out of detention in an hour or so and on our way out I'll let him know that you're staying here." Lily had wanted to go to Hogsmede with the others but being alone in the comfy castle on a cold rainy day would have it's advantages. As the others headed out the portrait hole Lily headed back up to her dormitory. She sat down on her bed and reached for the book she had been reading. As she did so her hand brushed the leather bound photo album she had sitting on the shelf. She was soon flipping through the pages with a warm cup of tea provided byEllie her favorite house elf. She laughed at all the wonderful pictures of her and her friends throughout the years they had spent at Hogwarts together. She especiallylaughed at a picture of Sirius and James hanging upside down in a tree that was in Julie's backyard. As she flipped through the album memories came flooding back and Lily decided to clean out the space under the bed to see what other things she could come up with.  
Lily had a great time getting lost in the memories under her bed. She pushed aside a pink duffel bagand found a shoebox full of notes and letters from her family and friends. She also found a manila folder full of cards and invitations. There was a particularly funny invitation to Sirius' 11th Birthday party, it was a picture of a frog and when you touched its tummy it said "Have a Hopping time at my House." "Sirius was so corny." Lily thought to herself. Lily let herself get lost in the things beneath her bed. As she was reaching for a small pink duffel bag towards the back there was a knock on her door. She stood up, dusted herself off, and decided to leave the rest for later. She opened the door to a red-cheeked bright-eyed Sirius.  
"Hallo." He said cheerfully. "Are you ready?" He asked slyly.  
" Ready for what!" Asked Lily knowing she was somehow setting herself up.  
" Ready to spend the whole afternoon with the most handsome guy in Hogwarts!" He exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
"O yay!" Exclaimed Lily.  
" I knew you'd be excited." Said Sirius.  
"Well I wasn't expecting James back so soon of course I'm excited." Teased Lily.  
" What?" Asked Sirius confused.  
" Well you said the most handsome guy in Hogwarts..." She let her voice trail off.  
" Oh ha ha very funny...not." Said Sirius and he pretending to be deeply offended by her response.  
" Oh shut up you ninny and escort me to lunch." They both laughed and Sirius escorted her to lunch after first bowing and then making a big deal of linking elbows with her. The two of them enjoyed a nice lunch of hot soup, perfect for a rainy day. Afterwards they played chess upstairs in front of the common room fire and enjoyed the soothing sound of raindrops hitting the castle roof. At around 3 Lily decided to go back to her cleaning and Sirius came upstairs to keep her company. He fell asleep looking at a photo album. Lily re-encountered the pink duffle bag she had put aside earlier. Puzzled she slowly unzipped it. A mixed feeling of recognition and pain consumed her. Inside she found a pink pair of petite ballet slippers. A very distinct memory came flooding back.  
"Ms. Evans, we are sorry to inform you that your mother and sister did not make it. Your father and older sister will be here as soon as we can locate them."  
It had been the day that her mother and her little sister Anne had died. Tears formed in her eyes but she would not let them fall. More memories came back. Lily's heart felt 20 pounds heavier. It would be three years this May. She had come home from Hogwarts with special permission because she had a ballet audition. Anne had had one the same day at a different studio so her mom had to rush to make both... only she never made it to Lily's.  
" You promised you'd come, though." Said a 12 year old Lily disappointedly.  
" I'll try honey, as soon as Anne is done with her audition I will rush as fast as I can to yours." Her mother said soothingly."  
" I'm so proud of you Lil." Anne said smiling at her big sister.  
"I'm proud of you too Anna Banana" she smiled.

They had been rushing and they didn'tnotice the car swerving ahead of them. Thedriver that hitthemhad been drunk and he smashed into them head on. They were rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead on arrival.  
Lilyhad had to hear the bad news alone in the ER because her father had been picking Petunia up from college in the United States. There was no one there to hold her and tell her that it wasn't her fault. She had come back to Hogwarts in shock. Unable to tell her friends she talked to Dumbledore in private.  
"...Oh no sir, I won't be dancing anymore," Said Lily casting her eyes to the floor. "It just wouldn't be right."  
" I see." He said. " You may change your mind in time."  
" Oh no sir...but thank you." With that she left and he didn't try and stop her.  
Lily sat heavily on the ground. There was no way the shoes would fit her now anyway and she couldn't return to such a dangerous thing. She had been so selfish. Her stupid complaining had cost her kind, tender, devoted, mother and her loving, sweet, younger sister their lives. A letter and a little box were also in the duffle bag.  
Three weeks later a letter had come addressed to Anne. It was from the Julliard's children summer dance program. Anne had been accepted to one of the best dance programs in the world for children her age and she could not go. She would never dance again. Lily had been the one to open the letter, and the one to inform them she could not attend.  
Lily's hands brushed over the lid of the box. She knew what was in it. It had been a worn out pair of pink ballet shoes. They were even smaller then her own, for they had belonged to Anne. The nurse had looked at her strangely at first when she asked for them but she kindly obliged. Now Lily was unable to open the box.  
Lily put everything back into the bag exactly how she had left it three years ago. Lily gently placed the bag in the back of the space under her bed and gently shook Sirius awake. The two of them went down to the common room where they had told the others they would meet them at around 5:30. Lily made sure that hereyes weren't red and she put on an unnaturally big smile that did not reach her eyes. When the others arrived though none of them noticed...or so she thought. After they had shared with them the things that they had bought in Hogsmede and they had all played a nice couple of games of exploading snap they decided to head down to dinner. Sirius held Lily back before joining the rest.  
" Hey Lily, did I miss something? Are you ok?" He asked concerned.  
" Of course I am." She lied. "Why wouldn't I be?" And she with that she slipped out of the portrait hole to avoid further inquiries from Sirius.

A/N: Okay so that's all there is at this moment. Who are the two "he's" at the beginning? And more importantly, will Lily return to dance? If so who will help her along the way? Please read and review and let me know what you think...should I continue this? Well of course I'll continue.. but would you like to see it posted? if you like email me...


	2. No Longer Once Upon a Time

A/N: Ok, so it's short, extremely angst ridden, and VERY late...but you're your own worst critic I suppose and one of you may enjoy it. But no matter whether you agree with me or not please read and review so I can improve it and know where to go with it from here. Thanks! 

"How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so."

Sarah MacLachlan

The next day proved once again to be rainy, only instead of feeling cozy and safe inside the castle walls as she had the night before, Lily felt dreary and depressed. She had tried so hard to repress the memories from 'once upon a time..' and now a stupid idea to clean under her bed had torn down the flood gates and encompassed her in a world of grief. Lily's father had tried so hard to pull himself together after the accident. But he was so busy working out his own problems that he completely forgot about his children. He started drinking, and the drinking led to him becoming neglectful and hurtful towards his daughters. Lily was able to escape it being away at Hogwarts, and even Petunia managed to escape at first when she was off at college.

But Petunia's escape wasn't enough for her. She didn't have a second world to hide in or friends whose house she could escape to when things got hard. Her father's problems became focused mainly on her...or so it seemed in her mind. She was also struggling with the death of her mother and youngest sister, and now she felt as if she were being abandoned by Lily. In her own time of need when things got bad she was the one who had to clean up their father and keep the house going. Eventually she even dropped out of college eventually in order to keep her world at home from falling apart. But all that anguish and all that regret soon turned in to hatred. Hatred for herself and hatred for her little sister. Their father eventually drank himself to an early death just 1 year after his wife and daughter's accident.

Petunia didn't handle things too well. She took it all out on Lily. Lily never got the tender hug from a family member telling her that that day was not all her fault. Instead Petunia found out about Lily's fear that she would hate her and taunted it with her. She told her that it was ALL her fault and that so was the death of her father. Eventually Petunia refused to take Lily in and Albus Dumbledore arranged for custody of Lily to go to her Aunt Rosie, whom she didn't know very well, but who was kind and gentle and patient. All those events had had Lily so depressed, but in the last year since she was able to pick up the pieces she thought things would get better. And with a lot of help from both muggle and wizard doctors she was able to push the past behind her. It was as if she had a self-inflicted memory charmed that was in place only due to the sheer will she had to forget it all and start fresh. Through it all she had had James, Julie, Sirius, Remus and all the rest of her friends to help her. None of them knew the full extent of it all...not even James, but they managed to make her happy and to find the smile that they thought had disappeared for good. Her green eyes had finally lost the dull glaze and become bright again, her smile became warm and true, and even her beautiful red hair seem to become more vivacious and alive.

Until finding the duffle, she had been Lily again. But her world was cast once again into a course of limbo. She couldn't share her feelings so instead she chose to bear the burden again by herself...only this time someone else knew.

Sirius had been carefully watching Lily since dinner. He had been placed in charge of keeping her busy while the rest of them made her party preparations. He noticed the bounce that was gone from her step, the twinkle that was missing from her eyes, and most of all the insecurity that had crept into her speech. She became increasingly distant beginning with breakfast the next morning. Not knowing what else to do, Sirius decided to talk to Dumbledore about it. He was very concerned and the head-master had been more of a friend to the children and a mentor then just merely a professor. he was a friend to them and he would know what to do.

Sirius approached the Head Master's office with sudden hesitation. What if Dumbledore decided to talk to Lily himself? What if he told her that it was Sirius that had come to him? But Sirius quickly shook off the feeling. He trusted Dumbledore to do the right thing no matter what, and if that were the right thing then so be it.

_"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."- dave mathews band_


	3. A Chat With Dumbledore

A/N: Sorry this takes me so long to work on. I am doing a million things right now and under buckets of stress. However, writing this has calmed me tons so hopefully I will be writing more often lol...hope you like it...please read it and feel free to review! 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything assiosiated with Harry Potter charactures...or J.K. Rowling...or Scholastic...(does anyone even read these?)

"A Chat With Dumbledore"

_"A friend is someone who can see the truth and the pain in you, even when you are fooling everyone else"_

Sirius stepped up to the stone gargoyle and muttered the password ("fizzing whizbee") before entering the great stone staircase that led to Dumbledore's office. Once at the top of the moving stairs he knocked on the wooden door.

"Come in." Called a muffled voice from behind the door. Sirius cautiosly opened the door. "Ah, Mr. Black, how nice of you to come see me." Said Dumbledore, and the twinkle in his eye was as bright as ever.

"Sir," began Sirius, "I came to talk to you about Lily." Sirius stopped for a moment to gauge the headmaster's reaction.

"Go on..." Dumbledore encouraged.

"Well sir, something...happened, and I don't know how I know but somethings wrong with her." Siriuss then proceeded to spill out the entie story about cleaning under her bed and how she hadn't been the same yet.

"Mr Black, " began Dumbledore, "I would never invade a student's privacy, or betray their trust unless I thought that it was absolutely necessary." At this Sirius turned green. He was certain the Dumbledore was going to call Lily in their at once and she would be very upset with him for talking to Dumbledore about her behind her back. Noticing Sirius's look he quickly continued, "However, in Miss Evan's case I can tell that you are a very good friend and you simply want to help her out. I know what it is that Miss Evans had under her bed. It has to do with her little sister and her mother." Sirius was very shocked at this. Lily never said anything about her mother and her little sister if she could help it. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but it was pretty much an unspoken agreement between the gang that the topic was off limits.

"Please sir, what was there?" Asked Sirius in earnest.Now he really knew that Lily must be going through something terrible.

"That much is not for me to say." Said Dumbledore. Sirius began to interupt,

"But sir.."

"However," Dumbledore continued shutting Sirius up rather quickly, "I will advise you to go to this store next Hogsmed visit." With that he handed Sirius a slip of paper with the name "Melodies" on it. "I believe that Miss Evans could use some music in her life," he winked. Still confused, Sirius thanked the Professor for listening to him and stumbled out of Dumbledore's office.

That night, Sirius tossed and turned. He didn't know whether or not to involve somone else in this.

James would be too emotional about the whole thing. He was deeply infatuated with Lily, if not in love with her and he would be torn to bits to think that there was something wrong and he was not the first to notice it. Shaking that idea out of his head, Sirius thought maybe he could ask Remus his opinion about it. But as he glanced over at Remus's bed he quickly shook that idea out of his mind too. Theglow of the moon illuminated poor Remus's face through the open bed curtains, and even as dark as it was in the rest of the room was, Sirius could see the bags under his eyes. The poor guy had more then enough of his own problems to deal with. Sirius wouldn't even think of asking Peter, who as hard as he tried was often more trouble then he was help. That only left the girls, and Sirius would rather not involve them seeing as they were busy with the planning of Lily's party and he wasn't as close to them as he was the Lily and the guys. "I'll just have to go to this shop." He thought to himself as he pulled the slip of paper off his bed side table and re-read it for the millionth time. "Melodies...hmm..." And with that last thought in mind Sirius drifted off to sleep.


	4. Music Boxes

A/N: I know it's been a while since I've worked on this, it's been a really hectic year for me. Hopefully this summer will mark my revival on I hope you like what little I've added, now that my muse has returned to me I believe that I know where this story is going to go from here. So anyway, enjoy...and when you're done, let me know what you think, it won't take that long to leave a review :) By the way, I think that each quote I put before my chapters conveys something about a different character or event. This anecdote reminds me of Sirius, and his attempt to help Lily. 

_"One day this Man's walking along the road, you know, and he falls into a hole. The walls are steep and he can't get out. So then a doctor walks along, and the guy yells up, 'Hey, can you help me? I'm stuck down here!' So the doctor writes out a prescription, throws the paper down, and moves on his way. Then a priest walks by, and our guy tries again. The priest writes down a prayer, sends it down, and walks away. Then a friend walks by, and the guy says, 'Hey, Joe, it's me down here buddy! Can ya help me out?' So the friend jumps down in the hole with him. Our guy says, 'What are you, an idiot? Now we're both stuck down here!' and the friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'"_

Ch 4 Music Boxes  
The next day Sirius decided to skiv off History of Magic and sneak into Hogsmede. "I still need to get Lily's present." He told Remus and James when they asked where he was going.  
"But I though you were going to owl away for that book?" Asked James, obviously puzzled by Sirius's sudden urge to shop for Lily.  
"That isn't enough." Sirius said simply and his friends let him leave it at that. "Look," he said. "I'll beback around...4, okay?" He added hastily to keep them from getting to suspicious. The truth was that he had no idea what he was going to find at this Melodies place, and he wasn't sure how long it would take him. As it was they were he didnt end up getting into the villageuntil it was already 2 o'clock. Sirius vaguely remembered seeing the shop along an older side street full of smaller shops when he was in Hogsmede a while ago. He swiftly headed off in the general direction of the store, keeping his eyes peeled as best he could. After fifteen minutes or so of hs wandering he came to the front of what appeared to be a trinket shop. The sign baring the name "Melodies"was nicely polished and surrounded by bright little musical notes. A bell lightly tinkled as he entered the shop.  
"What can I do to help you?" Asked a cheery store keeper.  
"I'm just looking, thanks," replied Sirius casually. He wasn't quite sure what it was he was looking for yet.. So, after acknowledging the shop keeper, he decided to explore the shop and hope for some inspiration. From what Dumbledore had clued him in on, Lily's sadness had something to do with music. Looking around, he noticed that the shop was full of music boxes. However, the trouble was he had no clue whatsoever which one to get...or why.He opened several different ones. Some played loudly, some played softly, and some of them had beautiful pictures engraved on the front. None of them were right though. Sirius had that gut feeling that all students got when they took advice from Albus Dumbledore. The headmaster would not have steered him wrong, and he couldn't ignore the soothing vibe that he got from the store. If anyone needed soothing, it was Lily, and he knew that if there was anyone to bring her back out of her shell again, it would lie within this shop. Sirius wandered in circles throughout the store, getting more and more frustrated as he opened more and more music boxes.  
"Ahem," said the store keeper who had offered him her services when he had entered the shop. "I'm sorry dear, but I can't help but noticed you seem a bit...lost." She said smiling at Sirius.  
"Well..." Sirius began reluctantly, not sure whether or not to ask this woman for help. "I'm kind of looking for a gift for my friend. I want a music box, but not just any music box, it has to be..." he trailed off.  
"Go on." Encouraged the woman.  
"Well miss, it has to be special." Finished Sirius. 'Great mate,' he thought to himself. 'Now you just sound like an idiot.' Almost as if reading his mind the woman began to speak again,  
"I see," she said. "That's perfectly understandable. In fact, let me let you in on a little secret. Not every music box is special. You're very perceptive to realize that the right one has to be owned by the right person in order for it to 'come alive' so to speak." She said warmly.  
"Come alive?" asked Sirius.  
"Ah," said the woman. "Most of the boxes you see out here all work in the same exact way. You wind the key and open them up and they play. However, the secret behind a music box that has found the right owner, is that if you can find the right box for the right person, the melody inside will never fade, and it will never fail to calm or sooth that person. If you tell me something about the person you would like to purchase a music box for, I'm sure we could come up with the perfect one." She gave Sirius a radiant smile and he found himself becoming very optimistic indeed. So Sirius began to describe Lily for the woman.  
"Um...she's medium height, very petite, she has these bright green eyes, and her hair is the most magnificent shade of red...oh and she's good at charms..." and as Sirius warmed to his topic he rambled on and on about Lily. "...And now she's very sad about something that happened a long time ago which had something to do withmusic and her mom and her little sister." He finished forlornly. "Ithink that if she hears the right music again, she can get back to being the same old Lily again."  
"I see said the woman. She sounds like a very lucky girl to have such a fine gentleman looking out for her." She said wisely, if not a little suggestively.  
"Oh," Sirius blushed. "It's not like that Lily is James' girl." He sighed. "But James' or not, we all love her to death, and she's like a sister to me. I would do anything for her, and if you could help me Miss, I believe that this really will help bring our Lily back." He finished up with a flourish.  
"Please," she said, "call me Melody.  
"Thank you Melody, I'm Sirius." Sirius smiled at the woman. He could tell that she was one of those rare people in the world, just like Albus Dumbledore, who would do anything for anyone if you gave them the chance to.

"You're welcome Sirius. And I will be more then happy to help. In fact, based on what you said, I believe I may have the perfect music box for Lily. If you follow me we can take a look." With that Melody stepped behind the counter and tapped a painting on the wall with her wand. A door suddenly appeared, and she beckoned Sirius to follow her into it.

A/N: Well that's it for now, but I'll work again soon!


	5. Under a Silk Cloth

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and dialogue! (unfortunately!)

A/N: I know that this is a long time coming but I'm a busy girl, what can I say. I hope you like this, please read and review! I'm going to try and update more consistently if I have time.

"_Cause out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train_

_Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again"_

Ch. 5 Under a Silk Cloth

Sirius followed Melody through the door that she had magically conjured into a little back room that must have served as her office. There was a beautiful little mahogany desk and chair, a nice comfy looking leather chair in front of the desk, and some shelves that held little personal knick-knacks and moving smiling pictures of family or friends. Melody gestured to the comfy looking leather chair in front of her desk and motioned for Sirius to sit down. She herself sat down in her desk chair and tapped a drawer on her desk muttering something Sirius couldn't hear. "Ah, yes here it is!" She said excitedly. And she pulled out a silk-wrapped package. She placed the mysterious object on the desk between herself and Sirius and began unfolding the silk scarf that was around it. Sirius leaned forward eagerly and as soon as he saw what lay in front of him he gasped out loud.  
"It's…well...beautiful," stammered Sirius. "It" was a lovely porcelain music box with a heartbreakingly beautiful painting of what appeared to be the backs of two little girls standing on the beach, the shorter one was whispering into the taller one's ear and from the side profile of her face you could tell she was laughing. The girls were standing on a dock over looking a breathtaking sunset over the water. The colors were so vibrant and warm Sirius almost felt the last red rays of the large sun as it was sinking into the water; the red of the sun only brought out the golden copper hair of the little girls- almost the exact same color hair that Lily had. Something else caught Sirius' eye also, there was a dazzling rainbow-like reflection of the sky in the water. All those beautiful things on one little box was almost to much for Sirius to take, he was afraid his eyes were going to start watering and quickly broke his eyes away from it.

"Wow," Sirius said looking back up at Melody. "I can't believe my eyes; it's so beautiful…and real. I feel like I can hear the waves hitting the sand."

"Wait until I open it!" Melody smiled at Sirius, obviously pleased with his reaction. She gently lifted open the lid of the box and locked the hinges open. A miniature hologram of who could only be the two little girls from the painting materialized in box. They were holding hands and smiling, as the music began to play, they began to dance together. Sirius listened to the sweet melody then turned his attention back to Melody.

"What song is it playing?" He asked enraptured.

"It's called The Rainbow Connection; many muggles sing it as a lullaby." Melody replied. Then, to her astonishment as well as Sirius' himself, he began to sing it.  
"Why are there so many songs about rainbows  
and what's on the other side?  
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,  
and rainbows have nothing to hide.  
So we've been told and some choose to believe it  
I know they're wrong, wait and see.  
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,  
the lovers, the dreamers and me."  
Sirius gasped for the second time that day. "It just came to me all of the sudden," he said a little sheepishly and a more than a little surprised. "Lily used to sing it, but I haven't heard it from her in a long time." He turned to Melody and gave her an odd look. "But how did you know?" he asked a bit taken aback.

"I didn't" she said. "I mean I wasn't sure the box would be such a perfect match, but like I said, music boxes, especially magical ones, as this one is, are extremely special. And, when you are able to find the right box for the right person, amazing things can happen." She gave Sirius a minute to digest her words then asked, "I guess this means you'll take it?" They both smiled.

"I'd say I'd have to have my head examined if I didn't. But, isn't, well, yours…already?" He asked, assuming that it had to be special to the woman if she kept it so careful tucked away in the back of the shop.

"Ah, it is both interesting and kind that you should ask me. Yes, it is very special to me but that's because it belonged to my favorite grandmother. But this is box was not meant for me, as special as it is to me, I was meant only to be a guardian to it until I could pass it on to the next rightful owner." She winked at Sirius. "It is what my grandmother would have wanted. You see, she was the first Melody, and this was once her shop. When I was a little girl I used to spend time a lot of here while my parents were working and Granny taught me everything she knew about music boxes and people. Granny grew up during the Grindlewald War and she used to tell me that one of the worst parts of war is the sounds of destruction- the screams, cries, explosions;" at mention of this Melody shuttered. "Her mission was to drown those sounds out and spread peace by filling the world with the beautiful sound of music boxes. After she passed away I took over her store and her mission. It sounds to me like your friend Lily could use some peace in her life." Sirius nodded in agreement and thanked her for her kindness.

"How much do I owe you?" He asked.

"This is a gift; I could not possibly put a price on it. I would like you to have it," she said.

"I couldn't possibly," insisted Sirius.

"Please, I want you to," she insisted.

"Thank you so much I'm…honored. As soon as Lily's back to her old self I'll make sure I bring her by to meet you. She would love your store and I'm sure she'll want to thank you herself." She smiled at him and they said their goodbyes, Sirius thanking her all the way out the door. He couldn't wait to give it Lily. The problem was, would she like it? Or would she be mad at him for prying into her business. Sirius doubted that Lily would be like that but her grief seemed to run so deep, he didn't want to make things worse.

A/N: I know it's short but review please! I want to know if you like where this is going or not.


	6. Lily's Story

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and dialogue! (Unfortunately!)

A/N: So it's been a while…but here it is I hope you enjoy!

_There is a crack in everything,  
that's how the light gets in.  
-Leonard Cohen_

Once the Music Stops, Chapter 6: Lily's story

Sirius practically floated back to the castle. He wasn't sure yet what was bothering Lily but he was sure that the music box he carefully cradled in his hands, wrapped with the same silk cloth Melody had had around it in the shop, was a very magical object indeed. Not only was the box magical in the sense that it was magically made and ran on magic, but how Sirius felt in its presence revealed that it also held a more unconventional magic that could not be found easily or duplicated. Sirius knew right down to the marrow of his bones that this magic could and would soothe Lily's soul and help her lay the past behind her. He just had to give it to her. And she just had to accept it.

As soon as Sirius got back he quickly slipped up to his dormitory to tuck the box away until he could get Lily in private to give it to her. He then joined the boys for dinner in the Great Hall.

"Sorry I took a little longer then I thought mates." Sirius said as he sat down and began filling his plate heartily. "You know how it is shopping for girls. Speaking of which…where are the girls?" He asked, noticing their absence, and anxious to see how Lily was doing. He also hoped he could get her to agree to meet him somewhere later.

"I think they said they were working on that Charms essay we have due next week," Remus said as he reached for the pumpkin juice. "Can you hand that pitcher to me Peter?" He asked.

"Here," said James handing it to him instead. "No offense Peter but I'd rather _not_ have to change my robes again. The boys laughed and Peter turned red as they all remembered last week when Peter knocked the pitcher all over James not once but twice in the same meal.

"Good call Jamey boy," chuckled Sirius. "Charms homework you say?" He asked referring back to their previous topic of conversation. That gave him an idea for getting Lily alone. They all knew she was the best at Charms; it would be totally believable for him to ask her for help. Also, he knew the other boys probably wouldn't want to start it yet and the girls were working on it now so hopefully that would decrease the chances of someone else wanting her help too.

"Yup, can you believe they started already?" Asked James in disbelief at the prospect of starting an assignment a whole week ahead of time.

"Mmm, girls and their work ethic; who needs a whole week to right a two foot essay?" added Remus sarcastically.

"Not me, that's for sure," said James cockily.

"Actually, maybe it's not such a bad idea to start it a little early….what with Lily's party and all I mean" Sirius said in order to give himself a plausible need to do work early when all the boys knew he was just as bad as the rest of them when it came to procrastinating.

"Start early!" exclaimed James. "That's all the more reason to put it off. We have party preparations to take care of! The girls are going to decorate and stuff but we need to sneak into Hogsmede and get the rest of the food and drinks."

"Well then who's going to distract Lily?" Asked Sirius, thinking quickly. "I mean if the girls are decorating and we're sneaking off to Hogsmede…" he trailed off pretending to let them think about it for a minute.

"Good point mate. Maybe you should ask Lily to help you with the homework…we all know she's the best at Charms and this way we can sneak around while you keep her busy away from Gryffindor Tower," suggested James. Sirius couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't have asked for a better chance to get Lily alone without the others thinking something strange was going on. And, because they needed a distraction they would want him to keep her busy for a while and he was sure that this was going to take a while.

"Sounds good to me mate," agreed Sirius out loud to the boys. "Ill just go find her after dinner and ask her to meet me tomorrow right after Transfiguration." The others agreed that would be the best time and began chatting excitedly as they planned out the menu for Lily's party. Halfway through their discussion Lily, Julie, and Maggie joined them and the conversation changed to homework and quidditch. Sirius noticed that Lily barely said a word and mostly kept her eyes on her plate; on which sat most of her food uneaten. He knew that approaching her past wasn't going to be easy, but he also knew it wasn't going to be impossible. He cared enough to help her make things right, he couldn't stand to see her in this state one more day.

It took some convincing, but Lily eventually agreed to meet Sirius and help him with the Charms homework the next day. She had purposely been avoiding him since she had found the pink duffle bag under her bed. She knew that the others were preoccupied enough not to notice she was upset about anything, but Sirius had been there from her discovery and had been watching her like a hawk ever since. She hoped that Sirius wanting to meet her didn't mean he was going to try and pry or make her spill her guts to him. She just didn't think she could handle that. So, it was with great reluctance that she headed up to the Library after Transfiguration class.

Sirius knew that if he tried to spring things on Lily right away she would probably just run back to the common room or her bedroom. He didn't want to be responsible for ruining her party preparations along with causing her to have a melt down, so he thought it would be best to actually have her help him with the Charms homework for a little while then casually bring the topic up afterwards on a stroll through the castle. The first part had gone fine. Lily seemed to be a little on edge at first, suspecting that he was up to something, but after they started talking about Charms and Charms alone she seemed to loosen up. Admittedly, she didn't talk about anything other then the homework, but to Sirius, just talking to him was an improvement on her demeanor compared to the silence and isolation she had been exhibiting lately. It was an added bonus that he actually got some of his assignment done early, especially considering that Lily went off on him he could just end up in the hospital wing hexed unrecognizable; in which case he would have no time to do it. He hoped that wouldn't be the case. He decided that it would be best to lure Lily to a more private place after working on their Charms in the library. So, after a few hours of working, he suggested they head back to the common room.

"Hey Lil," Sirius said as soon as they had left the Library. "I really want to show you a new room James, Remus, Peter, and I discovered." This was the most important part. Lily had to agree to his detour for him to get her alone to give her the music box.

"No thanks Sirius, I'm tired and it's getting late." Lily said, suspecting that he wanted to ask her what was wrong again. But Sirius had expected this so he decided to let a little secret slip in order to get her to come.

"Oh come on Lil I'm not really supposed to tell you but the others are working on plans for your birthday and I really don't want to be the one to spoil it. Let me just show you this room and give them a little longer to finish up." He hoped the others wouldn't be mad at him for letting anything out, but he figured this was important and he didn't really give away any details or anything.

"Oh, alright, I guess we could go check it out for a little while," Lily agreed reluctantly. Sirius actually had no idea where he was going to take Lily. He hoped that if they wandered around long enough they would find a quiet empty classroom or something they could sit and talk in. He just had to take her to a more remote part of the castle so she wouldn't think he was up to something and leave. After wandering together in silence, they took to pacing back and forth along hallways staring at the endless tapestries and paintings until they bored of the scenery and moved on to the next hallway. After absent mindedly passing a tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy's foolish attempt to train trolls for the ballet Lily stopped in front of it as if she had just noticed what was actually going on in the picture. Sirius watched quietly as she turned paler and paler and tears welled up in her eyes.

"Alright, that's it," Sirius said gently grabbing her arm. "Lily, we _have_ to talk about this, _now_."

"Sirius…I can't." she started to protest, but Sirius wouldn't take no for an answer. He led Lily through a door that he hadn't even noticed and couldn't quite recall where it led, but it would have to do. As they stepped through the door, Lily started to tremble. "Sirius, what the hell are you trying to pull?" She asked him furiously. "How did you even now?"

"What…" Sirius trailed off. He glanced around the room for the first time and saw that it resembled a mix between a ballet studio and a comfy living room. There were barres and mirrors lining the walls at one end of the room and a huge plush couch and fireplace at the other side. "Lily, I swear to God I've never even seen this room before! How did I know what?" He asked baffled at her reaction.

"I can't…I just…can't" and with that, she began to cry.

"Lil, this has to end at some point. You're never going to heal if you don't let whatever you're holding in out. Please," he begged her. "Don't shut me out." Lily started to sob and Sirius gently guided her to the couch and rubbed her back as she allowed herself to be enveloped in his arms. When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she began her story.

"Ok, so you know I have a sister named Petunia…and you know I had a dad…" Lily began. "But…well obviously I had a mom once…" she trailed off as her eyes began to get misty again. "…and I had another sister, her name was Anne," here Lily actually smiled for a second. "I called her Anne Banana. She was the sweetest person on the face of the Earth. And her smile could stop traffic it was so beautiful. And when she danced there would be this…this…intake of breath almost that would go through the entire room as they saw her grace and poise. She was just a shining star Sirius." The sound of his name made him jump. He thought she had forgotten he was even there listening for a second. "Anyways, "she continued. "We both danced…ballet. I don't know if you remembered me leaving sometimes during first year for the weekend here and there to go to recitals and performances. We were both very into dance and…and…" she began to falter and Sirius grabbed one of her hands to show her that he was there for her and she could go on. She gave him an appreciative glance and continued on encouraged. "Well, one weekend Anne and I had auditions at around the same time. My dad was picking my sister Petunia up from college in the United States for her winter break and my mom had to drive both of us, so she was rushing to get both of us there on time and hopefully see us both perform. My sister's audition started first and was all the way in another town so my mom dropped me off early and went with her first. They were rushing to get to mine…but they never made it there. They were…they were…hit" she finished with some effort. "…By a drunk driver. He hit them head on after swerving across the road. I had finished my audition so long and I was just sitting there wondering where they were. I thought things had run behind or there was traffic or something. But…at the same time I had this dull ache inside and as the time passed I started to panic. There was a police officer…he came into the dance hall and asked the receptionist if she could please locate me. But I already knew when I saw him walk in who he was looking for. He told me they were rushed to the hospital and that that was where he was supposed to bring me. When I got there everyone was talking in hushed voices. They kept looking over at me uncomfortably. They tried to locate my dad and Petunia but they were all the way across the ocean…Eventually, they had to break the news to me. I already knew but it hit me like I had been dropped flat on my back. I lost all the air in my lungs and I…panicked. I begged the doctor to let me see them…I had to know for myself. And there was my Anne…my little Anna Banana just laying there. She had lost her glow. She was cold and pale. I begged for her shoes…she was still wearing her ballet slippers. They must have really rushed to see me…" Lily stopped here. She looked at loss for words like she was just losing her mom and sister all over again. Sirius gave her hand, which he was still holding, a squeeze and she seemed to snap out of it slightly. "Dumbledore came. He knew through some magic that I needed him…and I did badly. He brought me back to school after the…the…funeral," she seemed to choke on the word 'funeral'. "And that was that…the end of my family. My dad slipped away from us, unable to stand the thought of losing my mom and littlest sister. He seemed to forget he had two more people who still loved and needed him. And my sister Petunia turned rotten in bitterness at having to take responsibility for the household. I lost both of them too in a sense…my dad literally and my sister…well she would hate to hear me even admitting we're related. It was bad enough that I was good at dancing but when I got accepted to Hogwarts too…well…we pretty much severed ties right then. The accident only made it worse. They were coming to me so it was my fault." Lily stopped there, exhausted from telling her tale.

"But why didn't you ever tell us?" asked Sirius. "We love you Lil, we could have helped you."

"I felt so guilty, angry, sad…" tears were running down her face again and she seemed so alone in that moment Sirius had to wrap his arms around her again.

"What happened was not your fault," he said gently. "You need to realize that."

"If I hadn't wanted them to be at my audition so badly they wouldn't have been there…"

"Lily, they loved you. I'm sure they wanted to be there as badly as you wanted them to be there," he reassured her. "But…I'm curious if you don't mind me asking…what brought it all back to you the day we were in your room?" he asked.

"I found them…" was all she said.

"Found…?" Sirius prompted.

"I found her shoes…I still had them in a pink duffle bag under my bed. Along with my old toe shoes," she added almost as an after thought. "But I don't dance anymore," she said with such force Sirius drew back a bit.

"But why?" he asked bewildered.

"Sirius…once the music stops…you don't dance any more. That's what Anne and my mom were for me…my music. Without them, I don't know how to be a dancer. I barely even know how to be myself anymore. I survived this long by forgetting about dance and forgetting about that day."

"You can't just forget Lil, I'm sure they wouldn't want that," Sirius said frustrated.

"Yeah well, thanks to me and dancing, I'll never be able to ask them will I?" And with that Lily made to get up off the couch.

"No, wait," Sirius pleaded gently grabbing her hand which she had pulled away. "Let me give me your birthday present first."

"My…what?" Lily was so taken aback she sat right back down. "What does my birthday have to do with any of this? I don't deserve to get presents," she buried her face in her hands. "What have I done?" she asked desperately. "I lost them forever."

"Shh," Sirius comforted her. "It's ok, it's ok. Just look at what I have first. You haven't done anything wrong and you haven't lost them forever…because they are still a part of you and who you've become as a person. And, I think they would have wanted you to continue on with the one thing that gave the three of you a special bond…" Sirius trailed off and gently pulled out the cloth wrapped package in his book bag. He sat it gently on a coffee table in front of the couch. "Go ahead," he said. "Open it."

A/N: Alright…to be continued…dun dun dun. How will Lily react to Sirius's present? Will he be able to bring music back into her life? Stay tuned and find out I'll have the next chapter out as soon as I can…I may be busy reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince first though! PLEASE REVIEW!

p.s. how many of you guessed right away what room Lily and Sirius are in! hehe hope you liked it!


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